No fan fiction can ever be as good as what Matt and Trey write, but I always try to make my scripts the best I can. That is why i've deleted a dozen scripts in the past because they weren't up to my standards.

This is Part 1

Farmyard in South Park
Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Jimmy, Timmy, and Butters are shown walking in the pastures surrounded by cows. They assemble in one group
Stan- Alright Cartman, what the hell do you want?
Kyle- Yeah, you dragged us all out to cow pasture…. at midnight…. on a school night…. when we have a math test tomorrow, this better be important
Cartman- Oh, don’t worry it is very important.
Stan- Well, what?
Cartman- You guys....do you know how to cow tip?
Kyle- What?!!
Jimmy- Cow tipping…oh…Isn’t that when you push a cow and try to knock them over while they sleep?
Cartman- That’s right my handicap able friend, we’re going to cow tip!
( He smiles like it is the greatest thing in the world)
Kyle- Oh Jesus tap-dancing Christ
( Puts his hand on his forehead in disgust)
Butters- I am not too sure about this Eric..this seems like the type of thing that if my parents caught me doing they would ground me.
Cartman- Shut up Butters you parents ground you for everything anyways.. Now guys let me show you how it is done. 1st you pick the cow that you think is best for the tip
Cartman walks over and examines some cows, as he walks over he sings ‘The Dawson Creek’ theme to himself quietly
Cartman- I don’t want to wait….for our lives to be over……
Cartman- Yep, this cow looks about right for some tipping
Kyle- Cartman this is fucking retarded!!
Cartman- Next you make sure the cow is fully asleep
Butters- How do you do that?
Cartman- Like this Butters
Cartman pulls on the cows eyelids to make sure that he is asleep
Cartman- He’s asleep alright…Okay, and now for the big moment
Cartman- Back up, back up everybody, step back please
All the other kids take a step backwards to leave room for Cartman to run
(Kyle shakes his head back and forth)
Kyle- Oh my god...
Butters is positioned right near the ass of the cow Cartman is charging to tip over
Cartman- YEAAAA!!!!……….
Cartman runs full speed into the cows stomach with all his might pushing it hard. Something very unexpected happens. The cow then shoots out a load of brown, greenish disgusting crap on Butters face send him flying backwards on his ass and covered with smelly, grass-filled cow shit before tipping over and hitting the ground
Butters- EHHHHH!!!
All the kids laugh hysterically at Butters covered from head to toe in cow shit!
Cartman- AHAHAHAH!! Oh man…I never get tired of seeing Butters covered in crap!
Kenny- That totally fucking rocked!! ( Mphhfhhhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfh)
Kyle- WOW Cartman, I have to admit that was sweet! I thought this would be lame and stupid like most of the crap you do but I enjoyed that...
Cartman- I told you!!!
Kyle- I think I want to try
Cartman- Step right up Jewboy
Kyle- I think that one looks like a good one to tip over
Kyle points to a cow in the farmyard
Cartman- Ah…good pick Kyle… Good pick..your catching on quick
Kyle steps back and then charges at the cow and tips it over
When Kyle hit’s the cow it lets out a huge moo
Cow- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kyle- Fucking awesome!! I can’t believe im saying this, but this is really fun Cartman
Cartman- I KNOW!! Its like the best thing ever!!
Stan steps into view
Cartman continues to smile from ear to ear
Stan- My turn
Jimmy- Go S-s-tan!
Timmy- TIMMAH!!!
Stan targets a cow and then charges it like a football player knocking it over on its back
The cows utters open up and milk squirts up in the air like a fountain
Stan- DUDE!! I loved that!
Stan jumps up and down very happy
While this is going on, Butters is picking the cow shit off of him
Butters- Ewwwww…it’s all grassy and sticky
Cartman is across the other side of the pasture, he yells to his friends
Cartman- you guys, you guys come quick! Over here!
All the kids come running over fast and anxiously
Stan- What?!?!
Cartman- 12 cows,…….. in a row…….can you say….. domino effect?!!
Cartman is really happy as he says this
The 12 cows are shown sleeping lined up in a row
Kyle- Ah dude…
Stan- You knock 1 down and they all fall down!
Kenny- Yeah
Cartman jumps up in down excited
Cartman- I know! It’s gonna be so awesome! Thank god for cows!
Stan- Hey, lets let Timmy do this one
Kyle- Yeah! It will work great! His wheelchair is strong enough to knock them all over
Cartman- okay come on Timmy
Jimmy- Good-good luck Timmy...knock em' dead
Timmy- TIMMAH!!!!!!!
Cartman- wait…wait hold on a tick
Kyle- What the hell are you doing Cartman?
Cartman- I am turning up the speed on his wheelchair
Stan- Oh yeah, that will make it go super fast!
Timmy- TIMMMMMAH!!!
Cartman- Let me see…
Cartman presses a big blue button on the wheelchair and the song “ I Touch Myself” starts to play
Cartman- damn it, how many friggin buttons are on this thing
Cartman then presses a green button and Timmy’s wheelchair goes blasting off towards the cows
Cartman falls over
Cartman- WHOA!
Jimmy- Holy cow….ahahahahahahahaha
Timmy- TIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Timmy charges full speed into the first cow sending him hurdling over hitting the next cow, and that cow hit’s the next cow, and that cow hit’s the next cow, and the domino effect ensues
Timmy then smashes thru the chicken coop and in the chicken coop is none other than the naked Chicken Lover having sex with chickens
The chickens scatter and feathers go everywhere, and the Chicken lover jumps out of the way scared
Chickens- BACOCK!! BACOCK!! BACOCK!!! BACOCK!!!!!! BACOCK!!!! BACKOCK!!
Chicken Lover- Ehhhhh!
Timmy-TIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAHH!!!!!!!!
All the boys look on in shock, but Cartman who is smiling and seems very happy that his plan to knock over all the cows worked
Kyle- Holy shit!!
Timmy then runs down a horse knocking it upside down and on the ground
Horse- Naaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
Timmy then crashes thru a barnyard door and hit’s a haystack where he comes to an abrupt stop. He goes flying out of his wheelchair and does a 360 degree flip and into the hay pile
Timmy- AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Timmmmmmmy!!!!
All the boys are silent and in shock until Cartman starts to crack up
Cartman- pfff….pffff….ca…ca…ca…Hahhahaaha…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! Oh man! Yes!! YES!!! It worked!! I kill myself! AHAHAHAH
Kyle- CARTMAN!!!! You fat asshole!! He could have been killed! TIMMY!!! TIMMY!!!
Cartman puts his hand on his head in laughter
All the other kids go running over to Timmy who is lying in the hay in the barn. His wheel chair is completely mangled!
Stan- Timmy!! TIMMY!!
Jimmy- Tim-mmmy Ti Ti Timmy where are you
Timmy- Oh…Timmah….
Timmy emerges from the hay looking shocked and confused
Cartman- Oh man..Didn’t YOU guys see that domino effect? AHAHAHA That was totally awesome! How is that not cool to you? AHAHAHA!! Oh man I think I peed my pants..
Cartman looks down to make sure he didn’t piss himself
Stan- Goddamn it...well come on guys lets go home before we get screwed big time
The boys walk over to try to pick Timmy up from the haystacks when they hear a loud voice calling
Rancher Bob- HEY!!! WHO IS OUT THERE?!! HEY!! I’ll shoot you you fucking sons a bitches!!! You better show yourselves now
Kyle- Someone’s coming!! AH!!
( Kyle yells anxiously)
Cartman- Oh fuck!!
Stan- Hide in the hay!! Come on!!
Butters- AHHHHH!!
Timmy- TIMMAH!!
( All anxiously and worried)
The boys quickly scramble into the huge haystacks and hide from Rancher Bob who shoots people who trespass on his land
Rancher Bob comes into the view. He is wearing no shirt, his hair is messed up, he is wearing dirty blue jeans with the fly open,1 boot on and 1 boot off, and with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth
Rancher Bob- Come out!! Come out right now goddamn it!! HEY!!!
Rancher Bob shoots his gun up in the air 4 times to try to scare whoever is on his farm land
It remains very quiet until a mouse scurries by Rancher Bob’s feet
Rancher Bob- AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Rancher Bob shoots the mouse a whopping 8 times blowing the poor mouse to a million pieces!
We see the boys hiding in the hay very nervously, afraid they are going to get caught by Rancher Bob
Rancher Bob- Hmmmm…goddamn….I could have sworn someone was out here…I must be hearing things..getting old...hmmm
Rancher Bob walks out of the barn house wielding his rifle and scratching his head
Stan- Pheww….he left
The kids start to emerge from the haystacks
Jimmy- That was a close one fellas
Kyle- Yeah, now we need to get out of here be…BUTTERS!! AH! Get your hand off my ass now!!!
( The tone of Kyle’s voice becomes mad and he grows angry) He slaps Butters hand off of his ass
Butters- I’m sorry Kyle! I just got a little nervous
Cartman- Kyle and Butters sitting in a tree…K-I-S-S…..
( in a teasing voice)
Kyle- Fuck off Cartman!!!!
Cartman- HAHA!



PART 2 WILL BE POSTED SOON!

Tell me what you think!

I hope you enjoyed the cameo from the Chicken Lover. When I decided to include chickens in this episode, I just had to give him a tiny role just for a quick laugh. He is hilarious!